Saturday, February 9, 2013

Long distance is hard... but it's doable.

long distance for dummies: long distance sucks, but it's better than the alternative


Let's face it. Long distance relationships suck. But, if you care about the person enough, long distance is a much better alternative than not being together.

I'm Susie, and this is the second time in about 2 1/2 years that my boyfriend, Lars, and I have been in a long distance relationship. When we first started dating, I was a sophomore in college and Lars was a senior a month from graduation. And after graduation, he was moving to Maryland. We both knew it. But, we dated anyways, without trying to "define" the relationship.

long distance for dummies: Lars and Susie

We visited each other a few times at first. He came to the Chicago area to primarily visit his mom, but also got to spend time with me. I was going to New York with my family, and so after the trip I took the bus to DC to see Lars. He came out for homecoming. We found reasons to visit each other, even though we weren't "in a relationship" yet. 

But after about 8 months, Lars came to Chicago. To visit me, no other reasons this time. And we decided that we cared about each other enough to be exclusive and call ourselves "in a relationship." This decision, for me, hinged on the possibility that Lars might move back to Chicago. Once I knew that he had plans to move there in the future, I was able to commit.

So, a year after we first starting seeing each other, Lars did move to Chicago. It was wonderful. We got to see each other several times a week. We got to celebrate holidays together. We didn't have to deal with bad internet connections for Skype or organizing travel plans.

But then, when I graduated, I decided to pursue a Master's degree. In Vermont. So here we are again, in a long distance relationship. 

Despite being long distance, we are very happy together. We make a point to talk to and visit each other. And we have figured out how to make long distance work, for us. We decided to share some of our wisdom with other people struggling through long distance for the first time. So, we hope that our advice helps you. 

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